From Inner Child To Inner Strength: The Power of Faith And Reparenting

Picture it...

You're seven years old again. 

What do you remember?  What is the first memory or emotion that pops up?

I never realised how powerful my inner child was until I started my journey of healing. 

It wasn't until I intentionally started to sit down with myself to explore the 'why' behind my triggers, my fears and insecurities. 

As children, we are malleable and impressionable. We absorb our environment like sponges, and those early experiences become embedded in the subconscious mind and influence the regulation of our nervous system. Ultimately influencing how we think, how we move, our belief systems and how we navigate our emotional world.  

Favourable conditions that evoke feelings of safety, love and consistency can lay the foundation for a multidimensional life of success. Likewise, inauspicious conditions such as lack, abuse, emotional unsafety and inconsistency can cause ripple effects that grow into tsunamis in our adulthood.

I have tsunamis that I have conquered and others still try to drown me. But tapping into my inner child has brought forth the awareness and clarity to face waves of emotions when they arise. 

The first time I truly encountered my inner child, I cried endlessly.

It was this bittersweet wave of nostalgia.

I saw 9-year-old me. Her eyes were beaming with light and life. She is full of creativity, she is fearless and energetic. I saw all her hopes and her dreams. I saw a juggernaut, and I could feel her undeniable aura of success.

But I also saw her insecurities, the cards that life dealt her. I saw the anxiety, I saw her shield and her sword. I saw the big shoes she had to fill at an early age and the heavy expectations laid on her small shoulders.

It was through this powerful encounter that a new path of my healing journey unfolded. A path where my inner child and shadow intersected, catapulting me into radical self-acceptance and healing. 

This is where my journey of reparenting began and where my understanding of faith shifted...
And it all began with forgiving and decentering my parents. 

Before I press on, I take this time to honour my parents. I give thanks for their love and support. I give thanks for their presence in my life. I am beyond grateful for the way in which they prepared me for the world.  I give thanks for their strength, their wisdom and guidance, which has moulded me into who I am today.

Every family unit has its unique set of strengths and challenges. I honor that balance of life.

When I peeled back the layer of  parenthood, and I started to look at my parents as people first. I realised that they are products of their own life experiences, their unique challenges , their wounds and  childhood. And it is through this lens, they view life and consequently show up in parenthood.  

The deeper I explored this, the more empathy and compassion spring forth from within me.  My blame has softened into compassion; I see them less as perpetrators and more as individuals shaped by their complex histories and the powerful influence of their own childhood. 

As I grasp the understanding of their lives and move past simplistic blame, I find that compassion has naturally paved the way for forgiveness. And forgiveness for me, which I am now accessing, surfaces in waves, not as a single moment or an immediate task.  It is a cycle that I can return to and constantly access. 

However, it’s vital to remember that while we cultivate empathy for others, our primary responsibility is to protect our inner child. If we find that our parents or loved ones continuously inflict wounds on that inner child, it’s crucial to establish and maintain boundaries for our own healing and safety. Compassion and empathy for others should never come at the expense of our own well-being.

This is how I shifted from a victim to a victor. 

These realizations have served as a launchpad for my ability to provide myself with the nurturing I missed, allowing me to reshape my interactions with the world. The process of reparenting has also unlocked a new level of confidence within me.

This deepened layers of self understanding and compassion. I know exactly what my body is feeling at a given moment and I know the "why" behind it. Reparenting myself has allowed me to give myself exactly what I need in that moment to bring myself ease. I have become my own soul provider.

I ask myself questions as the emotions arise,

"What do I need now?"

"Why is this situation triggering me?"

"What ways can I reassure myself in this moment?"

I am of the belief that the relationship we have with our parents form the primary bonding patterns we take with us throughout life. It influences our romantic relations, friendships, work relationships, and even our communication skills. 

These habits and patterns are avenues for growth, and where the shadow meets the inner child. 

This is where the power of faith becomes crucial. 

We are NOT defined by our childhood.

We are NOT trapped.

The growth that we seek is attainable and faith is the vehicle that takes us there.

But what is faith?   

My sistren and I @tiffanilioness were reasoning on our way to the beach and she said something to me I will never forget.

"A, if I know a cup is in my hand. I'm going to act like it. I'm going to start drinking from the cup and I'll put it down. I'll take it up back and I might even pour liquid in it. Because I'm confident that's there is a cup in my hand, I KNOW its there. Beyond a shadow of a doubt."

Faith is a lifestyle that you intentionally choose everyday. Faith is showing up as the version of yourself that you desire to be every single day, BEFORE you see evidence of it. Faith is the knowingness that it is already done.

Perhaps you are reading this and sensing a quiet nudge within.

A memory. A feeling. A younger version of yourself asking to be seen.

If so, trust that awareness. That is where healing begins.

If you were to sit with your inner child today, what would you ask of you?

Is it rest? Reassurance? Protection? Honesty?

You don’t need all the answers; only the willingness to listen.

Beloved, walk with knowing and let the path keep unfolding.

A🧿🪶